We all need support in some form or another especially when we are under trial or affliction. This past year has been a trial for me and I’ve been asked numerous times if I have a support system or network. I’ve started answering this question with a firm “No.” Why would I do that?
The words system and network do not accurately describe the support that I have. To me, these words suggest that each person supporting me is a node in a net. They connect to me and maybe one or two other people. Their sole purpose is to help me during this time. I believe this is why so many people, women, in particular, have a hard time asking for it.
The act of supporting another human being requires some time and energy. Two things that I find myself in short supply. Now that I need it, I know I am asking others to give me some of their precious time and energy. We all have a finite amount of both, limited as we are by 24 hours in a day and a need for sleep. It’s why people say things like “I don’t want to be a burden.” If long-term support is needed, it could become a drain on those very people that are there for me. They will need support themselves. This is why I use a different description.
I have a support basket. The love and care that has been given to me are woven by each person in my life. They support me but they also support each other. So my west coast best friend will listen to me and then call my mom who will call my brother who will reach out to my east coast best friend who will check in with my work friend who will check on me. They have woven their support around me and cradle me in their love. The nicest part for me is that I don’t worry about burning out a single person because they are leaning on each other.
I can curl into this basket of encouragement created by my parents, my siblings, and my friends to heal my wounded heart and mind. It helps me to release what I no longer serves me and focus my energies on creating a fulfilling future. A place of strength and happiness and a basket full of love.